I was recently recommended this book and was really impressed as it made so much sense; we can't expect to live a whole life if we try to fight, replace or avoid bits we don't like.
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) was developed by Stephen Hayes, Kelly Wilson, and Kirk Strosahl and aims to help you develop an ability known as ‘psychological flexibility’.
ACT is not based on finding new techniques to be happy but instead teaches ways to be present and live a rich, full, meaningful life whilst facing the various struggles that come our way and encompassing the wide spectrum of our emotions.
“As we go through life we encounter all sorts of obstacles, difficulties and challenges and each time this happens we have the choice: we can embrace the situation as an opportunity to grow, learn and develop or we can fight, struggle and try whatever we can to avoid it.” p249
The six core principles of ACT are:
Expansion
Connection
The Observing Self
Values
Committed Action (https://www.reflectiveresources.com/post/a-is-for-action )
ACT is concerned with clarifying and connecting to our own values and not blindly accepting a ready-made set of values. It is concerned with making decisions, based on these values, and about asking ourselves whether each choice we make is leading us closer to or further away from our best version of ourselves.
“The future is not in your control. What is in your control is your ability to continue your journey, step by step, learning and growing as you progress- and getting back on track whenever you wander”p245
I thoroughly recommend this book as a new perspective on our life and the way you approach it. Let us know what you think!
“I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that – I don’t mind people being happy –but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western Society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying ‘write down 3 things that made you happy today before you go to sleep,’ and ‘cheer up’ and ‘happiness is our birthright’ and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position – it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment,…
I would second that Sara. I would definitely recommend this book. It's certainly helped me over the years.